Nowadays, with the fast paced dating apps in an era of rapid-fire non-relationships and casual half-encounters, more and more people are complaining of the slew of non-starter potential partners who, maybe, in their eyes, could’ve been The One, but then peter out and fail to evolve.
And it hangs on people. Because, “it could’ve been something, but ‘now you’ll never know.’” And sometimes that web of “what if’s?” can haunt you.
It was almost and then it wasn’t
You had the beginnings of something in your hands, felt its texture as real as the weight of their face in your palm, and then felt it slip through your fingertips, an amorphous shape you couldn’t hold.
They almost texted you enough. They almost reached out to you enough. They almost cared enough.
They almost liked you enough.
Maybe you would have met their friends. Maybe they would have introduced you to their parents. Or maybe they did, maybe they even liked you. Maybe it wasn’t enough. Maybe they would have called you their girlfriend/boyfriend and gone out on dates. Maybe they would have made this thing real, and committed to something that looked more like “forever.”
What hurts the most is only having your half
It hurts knowing that you weren’t on the same page, or wondering if there was any point you were.
What hurts is investing and loving and then sitting with the embarrassment of trying; of realizing that you misread every single thing they said and did when they were around you, and then have to accept everything they didn’t do when you wanted them to.
You wanted to believe that they liked you; that they wanted you; that this could be it. You thought they felt the same thing during that first long goodbye hug; those infrequent good morning texts. You wanted it to all mean something — to them as much as it did to you.
You thought they cared about you. At least as much as you cared about them.
But your half of reality wasn’t reality.
They didn’t see your situation the same way that you saw it. They never intended to commit.
To them, you were an almost. The one who was almost good enough.
And now all you have is a shadow of almost
And shadows are hard because there’s nothing to grasp.
Here’s how to move on…
First of all: you are entitled to your feelings
You are entitled to feel hopeful.
You are entitled to want it to be something.
And you are entitled to think it could be.
You are entitled to invest your care, your attention, your time insomething you want.
You are entitled to fall for them even if they don’t fall for you. You do not need to base your emotions on theirs!
You are even entitled to misread the signals. (You are entitled to make mistakes.)
You are human, across all fronts.
Even though your almost relationship never developed into an official relationship, those moments are valid.
You still shared something that mattered, however fleeting.
It was still real. And you still matter regardless.
Second: refocus on self love
Refocus on yourself.
If you are focused on yourself and deeply understand your worth, someone else’s opinion of you (and whether or not they want you in your life) won’t rock your world.
Beyond that, you will automatically filter for people who align with your viewpoints. You will attract people who share your value of you. And when you dump your feelings in them, they will dump their feelings on you in return.