Lifestyle & Health

My parents pretended my long lost gay brother was missing

Until I found him.

In a touching story posted on Reddit, one man recounted how after decades apart, he and his brothers were reunited.  His parents had told him his gay brother was ‘missing’.

Writing in four gripping installments, Reddit user throwaway4620048486 explained his brother’s ‘disappearance’ and the emotional journey to reconnecting with him.

He never came back

In his first post, he explained how he had grown up with no clue that his older brother was gay.

“The days before he disappeared, I remember him staying home and babysitting me. I stayed in my room and played Nintendo 64. Throughout the day, a guy came over. I remember him. He was older, almost our dad’s age. My brother made me go into my room whenever I heard the doorbell.”

Then one day, throwaway’s older brother and the man left the house in secret.

“He gave me a hug and told me he loved me and left. He never came back.”

His brother, 18 at the time, was allegedly the subject of a missing person’s case, and their parents were interviewed for local news. His disappearance became “one of those creepy unsolved mysteries”.

Throwaway writes that when he was in college, he and his sports team appeared on national television.

This moment changed everything.

He writes that a few days after, he received a gift basket and did not know who had sent it.

“I called my dad and thanked him for the gift basket and he said he didn’t send one, neither did mom. Then I got to thinking: all of those candies were what I used to eat as a kid. Literally all I ate for the earliest years of my life were those candies.”

In his first post, he blamed his brother for ‘destroying’ the family. He wrote: “Maybe my brother knows what he did. Maybe he regrets it and knows he can’t come back home.”

It disgusted my parents

In two follow up posts, throwaway said he had made a shocking discovery.

His parents had found his brother – years ago, they knew he was gay, and they had kept it a secret.

“They…found out he was living with another man. He’s gay, and it disgusted my parents. He tried reaching out to them. They told him they didn’t want anything to do with him and that I didn’t remember him and wouldn’t want to see him”

Throwaway asked for contact details for his brother, and tried to work up the courage to telephone him.

“It was his voice. I knew that voice. It was my f*cking brother. My brother! Who had been gone for my entire life! I covered my mouth with my shaking hands and just sat there. He kept asking me who it was.”

After confirming he was who he said he was, throwaway’s brother had one response:

“I’m coming.”

The reunion

They met in the airport.

“He was crying, I was crying. I was having a breakdown. We went to a bar at the airport. He wouldn’t let me out of his sight. He kept holding onto my arm. He kept telling me how unreal it all was. He apologized to me. He kept crying, telling me he felt horrible. I told him to forget everything and tell me about his life.”

In their time apart his older brother married a doctor, has had two daughters, and works as a legal consultant.

“He stayed with us for two weeks. And in two weeks, everything about my life changed. His husband and two daughters flew in to stay with us. My brother-in-law and my two nieces. My family. They were my family. They are my family.”

His parents shut the door in his face

In that time, his brother tried to visit their parents but they refused to reconnect with him.

For this, throwaway says he cannot forgive them.

In a follow up post six months later, throwaway has said he and his ‘new family’ are moving forward.

He, his wife, and children have upped sticks, and moved closer to his newly rediscovered brother.

The day after the US presidential election, throwaway claims that he received a voice mail from his mother, asking if they could speak at the earliest convenience.

When she did speak to his brother, she recommended gay conversion therapy,  to the disgust of throwaway.

Moving on

While this last update contains something of a downbeat, throwaway says he intends to stay positive, and embrace the loving life he now has with his brother.

“I just want to spend as much time and energy as I can trying to love my brother, my family, my small little slice of bliss. This is my Heaven; this is a life I will proudly defend against hate and intolerance and bigotry.

I am so lucky to have this life, these people and this happiness and I will never stop fighting for it.”

Users on Reddit found the story heartwarming.

One Reddit user, Yajj8552 wrote “My brother and I are as close as they come so your journey really resonated with me and probably will stay with me for a long long time.”

And some said the entire story should be made into a book or a film.

Rabidlobsterclaw wrote:

“This should be a film. What’s good is that in the end, the people that deserved family got more than they ever dreamed possible. And the ones who deserved none at all ended up alone.”

Read parts onetwothree, and four, for the full saga.

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